Dictator’s Decrees

Your benevolent dictator’s infallible decrees.

4/12/2019: Nate Bargatze is now TDI’s official clean comedian. His “The Tennessee Kid” routine on Netflix pleases me.
4/08/2019: Today is TDI’s official launch party! Welcome home, fellow NLF draft nerds! Slay a pig, grab a cold beverage, and enjoy our island paradise!
3/25/2019: Fans who wear neon green shirts to NBA/NCAA games for TV attention are heretofore banned from TDI.
3/21/2019: Orange Vanilla Coke is banned due to intrusive ads during March Madness FTs.
3/18/2019: If Skee-Ball was an Olympic sport, I’d put Michael Phelps medal totals to shame.
3/06/2019: Those who designed Acer Chromebook’s power chord connection have angered me.
3/01/2019: Japanese restaurants on TDI that water down their white sauce shall be condemned.
2/20/2019: When in my royal presence, mock Keanu Reeves at your own peril.
2/17/2019: Lost in Shangri-La was a WWII survival book well worth my invaluable time.
2/16/2019: NBA dunk contest judges are too lenient! “10s” should only be for epic dunks!
2/15/2019: Weekend getaways with an awesome wife is paradise nearly as serene as the beaches of TDI.
2/14/2019: Life is nearly as rich as my secret coffers when your wife and kids say “I love you” on Valentine’s day.
2/13/2019: The Panthers FB Alex Armah shall be my new head of security.
2/12/2019: BBC Earth’s doc series “Dynasties” pleases your dictator.
2/11/2019: Mondays shall never begin with a 7:00 a.m. conference call.
2/10/2019: Watching James Harden shoot free throws is boring. Henceforth, blood must be drawn for him to get a call.